A+Standards+Skit

B and E are boys
 * || =Literary standards in a restaurant=

Opening scene

The Library Pub. The place is packed and off to the west corner of the mediocrely lit building, near the section of authors who died as a result of substance abuse, sit a group of smarmy high school students, drinking coffee.

A: (Whining) You guys, I’m so sick of all the writing in Tucker’s class. Has anyone even started that last assignment?

B: The one due Monday? Nah. I’ll do it Sunday. I have baseball practice in the morning then Gabe’s party tomorrow and church with fam on Sunday morning. I’m not worried about it, he’s pretty cool.

C: I started.

B: How far did you get?

C: Until I opened my eyes and got out of bed. I noticed how messed up my hair was and had to start on that ASAP.

A: I just don’t understand what the point is of writing an argument then having to write a narrative about it. Doesn’t make sense. It’s stupid.

(Scratching her head)

B: (In the mocked voice of Mr. Tucker) Uhmm. Ms. A, may I remind you of the importance of writing well?

C: I don’t even know how to formulate an argument. I mean, I haven’t been able to persuade my parents to increase my curfew, how am I supposed to convince Tucker, or anyone for that matter, about a character or a piece of literature?

B: Duh. Valid support. Even I know that. Oh yeah, and logical reasoning. I see why you don’t get it. (Laughing at his joke)

D: (Quietly chiming in) I’m done with my draft. It really wasn’t that bad.

B: Suck up (Throws waded up bar nap at her)

C: Yeah, D. I’m dying to know. (Rolls eyes) What did you write about?

D: (Sighing) Well, the idea for my topic came to me while I was watching yesterday’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

A: OHHHH... I missed it and my mom (sarcastically) “forgot” to DVR it. What happened?

B: Seriously? You girls with that lame show...

C: Shut up! It’s the best show on television!

B: Uh..Ok.

E: It’s not that bad. The chicks are hot on that show. You should check it out.

B: Not likely to happen in this lifetime.

A: No, c’mon D. What happened?

D: So, remember the week before when the chief gets a bunch of money and has to decide which department gets the money and all of the others are preparing for their interviews with him?

C and A: Yeah.

D: Well, they did the interviews this week and I predicted who was going to get the job based on the effectiveness of their arguments, which I thought was pretty cool. What’s that that Tucker is always saying about rhetoric and knowing your audience? Well, after analyzing the characters and their interviews, I thought about the paper and decided I would argue why the narrator in is dead. I have a lot of strong points, I think, for why she is dead. And it’s interesting to me.

A: Who cares about that! Who got the money for their cause?

D: Dr. Hunt

B: Oh not McHottie or whatever you call him?

E: Yeah, there’s a shocker. And it’s McDreamy, you idiot.

B: Oh, I didn’t know you knew all their nick- names. You a fan now too, Mr. sensitive?

E: No, dude. (In Tucker’s voice) “Know your audience.” Haha. The girls dig that I know a little bit about the show. It makes them believe that I am listening to them when they talk about it. (Smiling broadly)

D: Ugh. (Eyes roll) ANYWAYS! In the episode, the chief tells them he has a huge grant and the cash is all going to one department. So, they have to vie for the money. Placement in plot is important. Teddy gave her schpeil first and messed it up. Owen was second and he is the one who won and I knew it. The rest of them relied on too heavily on the logic of their department and the sad stories that they’ve witnessed. So, call the show predictable, but it was the rhetoric, which, unlike the rest of the competition, contained an element of ethos.

C: (Loudly to the others) Is she speaking English? What the heck is eth-as?

A: Do you go to same English class as us? It’s ethos and it’s when the person uses ethical appeal to strengthen an argument.

C: Excuse me.

E: Anyways...

D: And you know how Chief Webber is, logic and emotion are great but he makes his decisions based on his experiences with and knowledge of the other characters. Anyone who watches the show knows this. Owen is fairly new and has a good reputation as an army doctor, which makes him a little more...innovative than the rest. He made a really strong argument about his history of sound decisiveness whereas the others focused only on the organization, he focused on himself. The rest were a bit superficial and therefore not effective.

B: Blah, blah, blah. What does this have to do with the paper?

C: I think Dr. Bailey deserves it more. I think a lot of people would argue that.

D: So what would the argument be?

C: She deserves it, she’s a good doctor, and she’s been there longer.

E: But that isn’t a strong argument. She isn’t entitled to the money for the department, just because of those things. She’s strong in those points but limited in that her argument was The money should be given to the department representative who has a strong history of sound decisions and good management. Hunt’s no dummy, he knew the way through to Webber. He gave good reasons and proofs for why his department deserved the cash and he also convinced the chief by demonstrating his own personal standards.

B: Dude. Are you freakin’ kidding me? I can’t believe you watch that show. I’m gonna puke first then pretend that I don’t know you. (A superficial look of disgust passes his face)

D: I agree with E. You have to look at all sides. Somebody, somewhere will always have opposing views. Everything is an argument.

C: I guess I can see that.

A: So, back to this paper, I think maybe I’ll write on the Hunger Games. Do you think Tucker would be ok with me arguing that it is a combination of The Lord of the Flies, The Most Dangerous Game, and 1984, using evidence in like a comparison format?

B: I don’t know but you better do something. We all better get started. Well, except for Miss- (Mocking voice) I’m- already-done-with-my-paper- nah-nah-nah-nah-nah.

E: I’m done too, I just didn’t want to admit it.

C: D, can I come over tomorrow and read your paper? Just so I can see what you did. I think I have an idea, but would like another example, one other than the ones we read in class.

D: Sure. We can look it and brainstorm on yours too, if ya want.

C: You rock.

B: And you guys don’t forget that Tucker posted those suggestions online. We’ve been working on the different sentence styles and variety, so remember that too. And he said if we get stuck to shoot him an email. He’ll probably answer you. Teachers have no lives, they’re always on their computer reading or writing or researching something.

A: Those who CAN, teach. My mother always says that, being a teacher and all, I guess she has to.

B: Alright, people. I’m out. My dad is gonna kill me if I’m not home on time. And I suppose I should get started on this.

A: Me too.

C: Yeah, we should all get going.

B: Peace out.

D: Check you all later and see you tomorrow, C.

The group exists. Unnoticed by the group, Mr. Tucker, as he sits in a high, plush chair near them, shakes his head gently and chuckles quietly, thinking to himself, they will be just fine.

(SECTION ON DEAD LADY?)

What is missing? Should there be an interjection by a server or an observer? Is the language consistent? [delete] ||

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